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5/30/2021

Follow your family to the end of the world

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Note de transparence

Mr. Wei, who prefers not to mention his first name, is enjoying life slowly. Living in Montreal for more than 10 years, the native of Shanghai enjoys quiet days, alone in his apartment when he is not in the middle of his passion for travel. The 74-year-old man has not always had it easy. From his arduous migration journey, which led him to the Montreal community, to the tragedy that brought him closer to his only daughter, he tells us his story.

The long way to the reunion

“My daughter wanted to immigrate. She showed me around Canada to see if I liked it. I liked that,” he said. Thus began his long journey, which took him from Shanghai to Montreal. Mei*, the daughter Mr. Wei married a Quebecer and left her father to settle in Montreal in the mid-2000s. As is traditional in Shanghai families, father and daughter wanted to live close to each other to support each other. However, it would take four and a half years before they were reunited. They had to wait for Mr. Wei's immigration file to be approved by the Canadian government. During these long years of waiting, with an ocean separating him from his family, Mr. Wei felt very alone.

“I was so happy to arrive in Montreal! I could finally be with my daughter. We will be able to take care of each other,” he exclaims. The distance that separated them, between Montreal and Shanghai, made it difficult to help each other out. “Seniors like me, we always hope that the next generation will be able to take care of us,” explains the septuagenarian. When asked how he experiences the contrast between his hometown and his adopted city, Mr. Wei doesn't focus on the cultural differences between the two metropolises, he tells us about Mei. “The difference between the two is that my daughter is here! In China, I was alone,” he wrote. This fusional bond developed against the background of tragedy.

Mr. Wei's wife died when their only daughter was only five years old. This tragedy was a major blow for the young working-class family. “My daughter lost her mother at a very young age. My mother, that is to say his paternal grandmother, and I raised her, he recalls. Working and raising a child to adulthood without my spouse was very difficult.”

Mr. Wei and his mother did this by supporting their family with their respective jobs as electricians and seamstresses. So, the Wei family is very close-knit. Mr. Wei, who has always maintained a good relationship with his daughter, has always supported her in her projects, including her decision to immigrate to Canada.

The daily challenges of life in Montreal

The 10 years spent in Montreal were not easy. The cold season is always a challenge. “I can't stand winter! I stay at home, I avoid going out because of the cold,” he says. Mei helps him stay warm. “She had all my groceries delivered during the winter,” he said. And it's not just the temperature that Mr. Wei is worried about. A few years ago, he fractured his hand when he fell during a winter outing. He does not want to repeat the experience.

Other obstacles, such as the language barrier and the lack of knowledge of Quebec culture, also hinder her daily life. Mr. Wei therefore greatly appreciates the support he receives from the Chinese Family Service of Greater Montreal. “I have known one of the organization's social workers for several years. She helped me solve problems and find my way around Quebec institutions,” he said. He also receives support from his daughter's Shanghai friends who are in Quebec, who help him in situations where he has to speak in French or English.

A sociable globetrotter soul

Five years ago, his social life took a positive turn when he discovered a group of Shanghaians in Montreal. “We all come from the same region, so we have several things in common. We get together to chat, eat, enjoy Montreal's nightlife and travel,” he says. It is the latter activity that he prefers. “I like it when we all pack up on a big passenger bus and spend the trip having fun, talking and laughing,” says Mr. Wei. It is this passion for travel that, every summer, encourages him to join a Chinese travel agency that takes him to explore North America. And while he has visited Mexico, the United States, and several regions of Canada, his favorite destination is still Niagara.

“These falls are spectacular! There is nothing like it anywhere else in the world, he exclaims. I have already been there twice and when I have the chance, I want to go back. I dream of going for a ride in the Maid of the Mist boat and being able to admire the falls from below.”

It is hoped that he will be able to fulfill his dream and resume his travels soon.

Read the other portraits in our series for Asian Heritage Month. Diamond converses with Ambika and with NourMohamed.
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